Consent is not a guessing game: Why “No” must mean No and “Yes” must mean Yes

2026-03-16 - 10:56

JUBA, South Sudan (Eye Radio) – In a powerful call to action, activists are urging individuals and communities to embrace the principle that a “No” must always mean No, and a “Yes” must always mean Yes. Gender specialist Anzoa Fortunate highlighted the varied ways in which refusal, or the word “No,” is interpreted across different contexts. She explained that in some cultural settings, a “No” has traditionally been understood as a “Yes.” In media portrayals, it is often framed as someone “playing hard to get” or showing resistance. However, Anzoa emphasized that in modern understanding, “No” must be taken as a definitive refusal. While in certain romantic contexts a “No” has been misinterpreted as consent, she stressed that consent must always be conscious and voluntary. Anzoa cautioned against assuming that silence or body language equates to agreement, noting that factors such as fear or lack of self-confidence can prevent individuals from speaking up. Importantly, she stressed that consent should be specific: someone may agree to one form of intimacy, such as a kiss, but not to another, such as sexual intercourse. “Back then, in the cultural aspect, ‘ no ‘ can mean yes, giving a different interpretation; however, if you look at it currently, the way it is understood in relation to the media, it is playing like hard to get, or someone can be seen as acting difficult,” Anzoa said. “In the modern understanding of communication, it emphasises that the No should be taken indeed as a No; however, in social or romantic contexts, the No can be taken as Yes. My silence should not mean I have responded as a Yes, it’s a No, but sometimes it is related to self-confidence or fear of being judged.” “Consent should come willingly from me, and it should be specific; for example, I have my boyfriend who asked for a kiss, and I have consented to a kiss, not sex. It has to be specific in terms of the relationship. That is why it should be a voluntary thing, and you should be conscious.” On the subject of myths and realities, Anzoa highlighted common misconceptions surrounding consent. She explained that silence is often wrongly interpreted as agreement, when in reality it should never be assumed to mean consent. She further noted that factors such as a person’s clothing or intoxication are sometimes misused as justification for assuming consent. Anzoa stressed that these perceptions are harmful and must not be used to violate individuals’ rights. “Some of the common myths and realities about consent, silence is a myth, and it does not mean I have consent to that specific act; my silence does not mean I am okay with it. Sometimes dressing a certain way or being drunk means someone is asking for it, the reality is someone dressing, location or taking alcohol is not a reason for you to violate this person.” Emma Kwaje, Founder and Executive Director of the Banat Power Initiative, expressed concern over the phrase, saying that when a lady says “No,” she actually means “Yes,” explaining that this misconception continues to negatively affect many ladies and girls. Kwaje stressed that it is essential to respect boundaries, emphasising that “No must mean No, and Yes must mean Yes.” She added that actions should consistently reflect these words, reinforcing the importance of clarity and respect in matters of consent. “This phrase is affecting us mostly the ladies, and I always disagree with that; we girls need to understand that let our No be a No and let your actions also speak what you’re saying, but if you say No and your actions are not there, then people take advantage of you.” On myths, Emma stressed that one of the most damaging misconceptions is the assumption of consent. She explained that individuals sometimes wrongly believe that silence, appearance, or circumstance can be taken as agreement. “Sometimes people assume consent, people look at you and assume that you want something or would want something. People believe consent can be assumed; sometimes, past consent can be taken as a guarantee for the next one,” she said. “Just because you had sex with me today, you think next time I will have sex with you. Consent should be something we agreed on now; just because I accepted in the past, it does not mean I gave consent for my whole life.” The insights shared by gender specialists such as Anzoa Fortunate and advocates like Emma Kwaje highlight the urgent need to challenge harmful myths and cultural misconceptions about consent. Their voices emphasise that silence, appearance, or intoxication must never be mistaken for agreement, and that phrases like “No means Yes” perpetuate dangerous misunderstandings that put women and girls at risk.